1. Wink at them. A verse from the song “Wink” by Neil McCoy: “Well it’s her way of sayin’ she’s on my side An unspoken message that works every time When my brain starts smoking And I can’t even think All she’s gotta do is just give me that wink”
2. Genuinely smile at them for no reason a couple of times a day. According to research by University of California Psychology Professor Dacher Keltner, when people in conversations authentically smile the participants experience heightened feelings of enjoyment and reduced feelings of anger, distress and fear. Studies show that smiling at someone gives them a shot of dopamine. This hormone—originally “designed” to ensure survival—improves energy, focus, mood, attention, alertness and libido and provides a mild euphoria. Wow! Sounds like a party! So be your partner’s smile DJ and let the good times roll!
3. Run your index finger up their arm, along their shoulder, across their cheek and then finish on their lips and then whisper “shhhh”. The touch of a finger running up your body is relaxing and suggestive. By finishing on the lips in and gently saying “shhhh” you are inviting your mate to just let their mind be quiet and relax, maybe in anticipation of what comes next…which might be something as beautiful as peace and quiet together. The “shhhh” was reportedly first used by Buddhist monks in temples at the beginning of periods of silence. It was meant to mimic the sound of a soft breeze, implying that should be the only sound one might here in those moments. Imagine how relaxing it might be for your partner to feel your gift of a soft breeze.
4. Give them the thumbs up! Not all primates have opposable thumbs. For example, the Spider Monkey does not. It does have a largely hairless tail that it uses for holding things, since its hands are limited. The moral of this story is this: Since you have opposable thumbs use them to convey your love and satisfaction and save your tail for more practical uses than just grabbing something.
5. Draw a heart on the mirror in the bathroom. If it is misty in the bathroom, just use the mist. If it is not, try Crayola washable window markers or lipstick. The Crayons wash off with water and lipstick comes off with window cleaner. By the way, the modern drawn heart first appeared on playing cards in the 15th century. Maybe break out a deck tonight and play some “hearts.”
6. Tell them a good line from a book or movie or sing a loving line from song that reminds you of them. Signature lines often stir feelings related to an event that evokes powerful emotions. This is especially effective if the two of you have something in common related to the line (ie your favorite song, a movie you saw early in your courtship, a book that you know your partner just read, etc.). Some famous lines are: “You had me at hello.” Jerry McQuire, movie “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime.” Mae West, actress “I want to hold your hand.” Beatles song “I can take you to places you don’t even know exist.” Fifty Shades of Grey, book
7. Call their voicemail at work one night so they will get the message the next day. Say something funny or just tell them how much you want to spend time with them that night or on the weekend. Henry Ford banned laughing at work. You could get fired if you chuckled or snickered while you labored in the assembly line. If you worked ten hours a day for Mr. Ford and slept eight hours a night, you could not laugh for nearly two-thirds of the time you were awake. Take advantage of the freedom you and your partner have in this day and age. Leave a funny voicemail.
8. Twirl them around. Finland is second only to Brazil for the country with the highest number of people per capita that dance the Samba. Why Finland and the Samba, a rich and elegant Latin dance? Because, it is dark and really cold half of the year in Finland and they want to have something fun to do indoors. Their Samba competitions can last all night and all weekend. Remember this when you are deciding whether or not it might take too much time and effort to just give your partner one little twirl.
9. Spoon with them or hug them every time you wake up during the night. If you need an explanation on this one you may as well just roll back over and go back to sleep.
10. Rest your head on their shoulder. Just rest your head on their shoulder.