Relationships are not easy, but they are worth it. I have had plenty of relationship blow ups and breakdowns but I am learning how to preserve and honor my relationships and wanted to share some of what has worked for me with you.
I challenge you to become someone who is unwilling to quit in your relationships. Don’t quit on you. Don’t quit on them. Don’t quit on the possibility of being able to work through anything, together. There is always a solution if you are willing to do whatever it takes to find it. I promise, there is a way to preserve relationships.
This does not mean stay in an abusive situation or with someone who is not willing to work with you. The point is, before quitting on a relationship make sure you have tackled the following:
1. Have you done everything that you can to be proud of how you showed up in the relationship?
2. Have you taken 100% responsibility for your 50% of the relationship?
3. Have you honestly communicated your concerns and offered solutions?
4. Have you given the person an opportunity to work with you through issues, conflicts, and obstacles?
When we quit in relationships we will inevitably wind up in the same place with someone new, whether it be with a romantic partner, colleague, family member, acquaintance or friend. I believe that people are my greatest teachers and that my relationships grow me more than anything else on the planet.
If you have done everything you can, in a way that you are proud of and are clear and neutral, then and only then is it possibly time to end a relationship. If you are charged in any way, angry, sad, scared, there is more that this person has to offer you for your highest growth.
The relationships you have are mirrors for you to see your brightest and darkest self reflected back at you by the people you are “relating” to. You can work through anything, with anyone as long as you are both fully committed to growing together. I have not always had partners who were willing to work with me, and I wasn’t always willing to work with my partners. What I know is that LIKE attracts LIKE. If you are willing to become someone who won’t quit in relationships, then you will attract like-minded people who feel the same.
Relationships are not always fun and exciting, but you can’t have a fun and exciting connection without occasional breakdowns along the way. Don’t let the breakdowns steer your relationships. Instead, commit to your relationship’s winning, no matter what and be willing to work with people all the way through conflict so that you have an opportunity to come out the other side.